Sometimes it's just lonely

Chris and I are in a weird place right now. You see, it's pea harvest time. Peas are a delicate vegetable and must be harvest when they are at a certain point on the tenderometer. That means Chris is working A LOT of hours. At least 14 a day, sometimes more. And 7 days a week. It's tough. Helen misses her daddy. I miss him too.

The other night Chris and I were talking in bed. We were both almost asleep and weren't making a lot of sense. He said something about how we never talk anymore. I told him that I don't have a lot to say because I all I ever do is stay home with the kids (yes, I was being a bit petulant. Honestly, I was upset because I can't do something I want to do because of pea harvest.) Chris responded that he doesn't have a lot to say either, all he does is look at peas all day.

Oh, yeah. This is a hard time of year for him too. Sometimes that's hard for me to remember. This is his dream job and I know he loves what he does. But, still, it is work and it is hard work. I need to remember that.

Here's the thing about being a stay at home mom: sometimes it's lonely. Especially where we live, in the middle of nowhere. I am surrounded on three sides by wheat fields and on the fourth by a pea field (which, now that it is harvested just creates a lot of dust in my house). I can't pop in on neighbors. We do go to town once or twice a week and it is only 6 miles or so but that's not always easy with two kids!

I know I am lucky to be able to stay at home with my kids. Not everyone has this choice and it was a choice I made happily. I know my kids won't always be small and I do cherish this time with them. I know they are benefiting from my constant presence. But sometimes it's hard. Sometimes I get tired. Sometimes I'm lonely. And right now, because of pea harvest, I'm really missing my husband.