On children growing up

Sometimes I feel like I'm already losing Helen. She's so independent. She wants to do everything herself and heaven forbid I try to help her. Everytime she says she doesn't want me it's a tiny knife. I know, I know. This is my job...it's planned obsolescence, I'm supposed to be teaching her to do things herself. Oh, but I want to be with her. I want to do things with her and help her. She's my baby and she always will be. I know she's only 3 (almost) but sometimes it feels like it's just going by too fast.

Help me to remember that on the days that I'm urging her to grow up faster.

Highs and lows

Today was full of highs and lows. I took Helen out to the field and Chris gave her a ride in the combine. She loved it. She thinks she's ready to go to work with daddy. She's definitely an outside girl and she loves being with her daddy. I'm so happy about that.

Here's the part that is a struggle for me. We came home and had some issues. There was screaming involved. And a spanking. So, daddy gets to be the good guy, the fun one who gives Helen combine rides. And mama gets to be the bad guy, the awful one who punishes her. I hate that. I want to be the fun one.

Little things that matter

So, I've always prided myself on being a "low maintenance" lady. I rarely wear make up. My hair is pretty wash and go. I'm not much for jewelry. I've always thought these were good things.

I still think they are good but I'm learning that sometimes my low maintenance-ness might seem like apathy. I got my hair cut on Memorial Day weekend. The new style requires a bit more effort than my old style did. If I just wash and go it looks a bit lifeless. If I use a little gel and a clip, it looks more stylish. Chris wasn't sold on the hair cut at first but when I started using the gel and such he noticed. He comments all the time now about how nice it looks. Hmmm...maybe he likes when I put a little more effort into my appearance.

Maybe he's sick of those ratty old sweatpants, too. A new pair of yoga pants would be just as comfortable but look a bit nicer. A quick coat of lipgloss wouldn't really take much time but might really show him that I'm happy that he's home.

So, all I do is take care of the kids all day. That doesn't mean I shouldn't take care of my appearance. After all, only my husband's opinion of my appearance really matters. So what if he's the only person to see me in a day...he's the only one who counts!

"But by faith we eagerly await through the Spirit the righteousness for which we hope."

1 Corinthians 13:4- 8: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

Sometimes passages that I have known forever suddenly come alive to me in new ways. Isn't that the definition of living and active? (Hebrews 4:12) So, everyone knows 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Literally everyone...even non-Christians can often recite that passage, or at least the gist of it. Lately, that passage has become really convicting for me. Am I showing my family real love? How often am I patient with my two year old? How often am I not easily angered? Do I really keep no record of wrongs with my husband? Am I not self-seeking? Sometimes the truth is like a knife and it plunges deep. It's not just a platitude to be read at weddings...it is a description of love in action...and I fall short too often.

Similarly, I've been thinking a lot about the fruits of the Spirit lately. Is His presence in my life obvious? Are those 9 attributes apparent in my life? Too often I think the answer is a resounding no. Would my daughter say that I am peaceful and patient? Would my friends comment about my kindness and gentleness? Would my husband say that I am loving and faithful? Does my life proclaim the glory of my Lord?

Galatians 5:22-23: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

Things to remember

Sometimes I just need to write things down. I want to remember my kids at this age...we're having so much fun! So, here's a funny story. This happened shortly after Patrick was born...long enough that his umbilical stump had fallen off but Helen was still figuring out this new baby thing.

Anyway, I was changing Patrick's diaper and Helen was "helping." She wanted to give me the rubbing alcohol but I told her that his belly button was all healed up and we didn't need it anymore. Then she pointed at Patrick's diaper (by this point I'd finished changing him) and said, "someday that will fall off and he'll have a body like mine." It was all I could do to keep from laughing. She was being very serious and I wanted to respond to her in a serious way. I'm sure that was just the beginning, a first introduction to the differences between girls and boys!


This picture is of Helen trying to feed Patrick. She was calmly holding him on the couch when she suddenly said, "he's hungry" and lifted her shirt! The funny thing is, she only gives her dolls bottles. I thought she'd try to nurse them too. Actually, I don't even know where she got the idea that babies need bottles...we never have any bottles around here.

Lessons in patience.

Why does it seem like my kids are at their most difficult when I have the least energy/patience/time available to deal with them? Right now Patrick is teething and not sleeping very well at night. This means I'm extra tired. On top of that, I haven't been feeling very well lately. This just takes away from my already depleted energy stores.

So, what does this mean for Helen? She's at her most grouchy, least compliant! She's been throwing tantrums right and left. She's having potty "accidents" that I'm certain are on purpose. She's also "helping" in ways that are anything but helpful (although, I'm grateful for her intentions, they are making my life more difficult).

God uses my children to teach me patience....it's just a really hard lesson.

Pea Salad

Pea Salad is one of my favorite things to make. It's pretty easy, very tasty and is a great way to communicate love to my husband. Maybe other husbands aren't like mine but mine feels very loved when I make his favorite things. I have a collection of husband-loving recipes...some are things I make quite often, some are things I make on special occasions. Pea Salad is one that I make fairly often, mostly in the summer.

Anyway, like I said, it's pretty easy to make and it is very adaptable to what your family likes to eat. You just take peas (however much you want, you can easily make a large salad or just enough for your family) and boil them until they are tender (just a few minutes). Then drain them and put them in the fridge to cool. When they've cooled, add some onion (last night when I made this I used a Walla Walla Sweet onion...sometimes I use green onions, sometimes red...whatever you have is great), chunks of cheese (used cheddar last night, other cheeses are yummy too) and blend it all together with sour cream. I didn't have any bacon last night but crumbled bacon on top is REALLY yummy. I think it is best to mix it all together in the morning so the flavors can really blend together before you eat it. Like I said, easy, yummy and full of love...my favorite kind of recipe.

Looking for more pea recipes? Check out the In Season Recipe Swap at Tammy's Recipes!

Menu Plan Monday

This is my first Menu Plan Monday and I'm really excited about it. I try to plan two weeks at a time (because I grocery shop every two weeks) but this will help me be even more organized about it. I'll include some recipes from time to time.

Monday: Acapulco Casserole (this is actually leftover from last week)
1 cup chopped celery 1 cup salsa
2 tsp butter 8-12 corn tortillas torn in strips
2 cans chili w/ beans 1 can refried beans
1 can unsalted corn grated cheddar cheese

In large frying pan saute celery until tender. Stir in chili, refried beans, corn and salsa. Arrange half the tortilla pieces in a 9x13 pan, top with half the bean mixture and a layer of cheese. Repeat with remaining tortillas, beans and more cheese. Bake covered for 45-50 minutes at 350. Bake uncovered for a further 5 minutes or until cheese starts to get crispy. Yum!

Tuesday: grilled chicken spinach salad

Wednesday: Tacos

Thursday: Tuna Noodle Salad

Friday: Black bean burritos

Saturday: Leftover day

Sunday: Venison Roast

You can tell it's summer around here...I'm doing my best to leave the oven off most of the week!

Sometimes it's just lonely

Chris and I are in a weird place right now. You see, it's pea harvest time. Peas are a delicate vegetable and must be harvest when they are at a certain point on the tenderometer. That means Chris is working A LOT of hours. At least 14 a day, sometimes more. And 7 days a week. It's tough. Helen misses her daddy. I miss him too.

The other night Chris and I were talking in bed. We were both almost asleep and weren't making a lot of sense. He said something about how we never talk anymore. I told him that I don't have a lot to say because I all I ever do is stay home with the kids (yes, I was being a bit petulant. Honestly, I was upset because I can't do something I want to do because of pea harvest.) Chris responded that he doesn't have a lot to say either, all he does is look at peas all day.

Oh, yeah. This is a hard time of year for him too. Sometimes that's hard for me to remember. This is his dream job and I know he loves what he does. But, still, it is work and it is hard work. I need to remember that.

Here's the thing about being a stay at home mom: sometimes it's lonely. Especially where we live, in the middle of nowhere. I am surrounded on three sides by wheat fields and on the fourth by a pea field (which, now that it is harvested just creates a lot of dust in my house). I can't pop in on neighbors. We do go to town once or twice a week and it is only 6 miles or so but that's not always easy with two kids!

I know I am lucky to be able to stay at home with my kids. Not everyone has this choice and it was a choice I made happily. I know my kids won't always be small and I do cherish this time with them. I know they are benefiting from my constant presence. But sometimes it's hard. Sometimes I get tired. Sometimes I'm lonely. And right now, because of pea harvest, I'm really missing my husband.

Processing

I'm in the middle of reading Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson. So far I'm enjoying it. I don't agree with everything he says but he does make a lot of good points...really, I think they are applicable to raising boys and girls but Dobson is speaking to parents of boys. So, this post is really just my way of processing what I'm reading...I'm not sure that all my thoughts are together so I may not make a lot of sense.

So, I do feel like raising a little man is a big responsibility. I do believe that there are differences between boys and girls and I think we will have different expectations for Patrick and Helen as they grow up. Some of those differences will be based on their different abilities and talents but I do think there will be some differences because of their gender differences. I'm not sure how it will all play out but I do intend to raise Helen to be a woman and Patrick to be a man. Obviously.

Still, Helen will get auto mechanic and home repair lessons and Patrick will learn to cook. I don't think those things are gender specific. Some of the things Dobson has said seem to imply that little boys shouldn't play with dolls or tea sets...that is something I don't agree with at all. I want to raise a man who will cuddle and love his future children...pretend play with dolls is good practice for that. I also want to raise a daughter who is self sufficient...I do want her to depend on her husband someday but not because she can't take care of herself, because she WANTS to depend on him.

In part of the book Dobson talks about how fathers should play with their sons in ways that they wouldn't play with their daughters. I'm a little uncertain about that. Chris rough houses with Helen, why shouldn't he? Someday he'll rough house with Patrick too. I expect Helen and Patrick to wrestle around together as well. I do think boys and girls are different but I also think that a lot of the needs of little girls and little boys are the same.

I'm also having a hard time with Dobson's chapter on homosexuality. I don't think that a 2 year old who tries mama's make up or puts on dresses is headed toward homosexuality. I don't think that a little girl who says she wants to be a boy is going to become a lesbian. I personally think these kinds of things are part of figuring out what makes girls and boys different. Dobson seems a bit hysterical about it in some ways.

Anyway, I'm about halfway through the book and it is really making me think about how raising my son will be different from raising my daughter. I know my husband's sister really felt like their parents were unfair in the differences in how they treated brother and sister. That's not what I want for my kids. I only have sisters so in some ways I feel like I'm going to have to learn all this little boy stuff from scratch. I guess that's what parenting is all about.

I imagine I'll be back to this topic at another time. I'm still processing a lot of what Dobson says in this book.

Walla Walla Sweet Onion Rings

Around here the end of June/beginning of July is all about Walla Walla Sweet Onions. We wait with baited breath for them to be ready. It is all we dream about. Although the asparagus and strawberries are usually ready first, nothing says summer to us like our sweet onions. The onions we're growing in the garden aren't ready yet but the farmers plant a lot earlier than we do so they are definitely available at the farm stands. The other day I got a 10lb bag for $4.50...not a bad price for the best onions in the world.

So, last night we had Walla Walla Sweet onion rings with our dinner. They were fantastic. A great crunchy coating and then a burst of sweet juicy onion. I could eat these every night. I paired them with BBQ chicken, field fresh peas and fresh strawberries...it was a perfect summer meal!

Walla Walla Sweet Onion Rings

3/4 cup flour
2/3 cup milk
1 egg
1 TB canola oil
salt
paprika

Mix ingredients together until smooth. Slice an onion or two (how many depends on how large your onions are and how many people you are feeding)in 1/4 inch slices and separate into rings. Drop in coating and take out with fork, allowing excess batter to drip off. Fry in about 1 inch oil heated to 365 for 2 - 3 minutes. Rings can be kept hot in 300 oven but they aren't as crispy that way.


Looking for other in season recipes? Check out the In Season Recipe Swap at Tammy's Recipes.