On food, guilt and saving money

Recently a good friend of mine shared that she spends between $60 and $80 a week on groceries for her family of 4 people and one dog. This revelation caused my jaw to drop and feelings of guilt to creep up. I spend more than that, quite a bit more than that, honestly. My total includes diapers but it is more like $110 a week (really I shop twice a month but it's around $220 twice a month). For a long time I've wondered about our grocery bill, wondered if I spend too much or if I could be saving my family money in some way. So, my friend's comment really made me think about how I do what I do.

I guess I see grocery shopping/feeding my family as a big part of my contribution to our financial health. I don't bring in any income right now but I can be a part of controlling our outgoing dollars. Watching what I buy and making good decisions is important to me.

So, it's been a couple of months since our discussion and I've decided that I'm doing as good as I can for now. My $220 twice a month covers diapers, dog food and cat food. It includes all our toiletries and laundry things. Plus it feeds us. I'm paying attention to sales and coupons and such but I won't be a slave to that and I won't drive all over town going to multiple stores to save a few dollars. I do my shopping with two kids in tow and more than one store is too much for us.

The last couple of months of reflection on grocery shopping has yielded a couple of fun finds: www.moneysavingmom.com and www.andfreebiesforall.com. I added these two sites to my google feed reader and I've gotten all kinds of fun coupons, freebies, samples and just good ideas, especially from Money Saving Mom. It's good to be thoughtful and plan things. I like that. I won't make myself feel guilty for spending what I need to spend to feed my family what they like to eat.

Life and such

Today was the start of the year for the Women's Bible Study I'm a part of. I'm so happy to get back with these women on a weekly basis. Helen's happy too...this year she graduated to the "big kids" class. You see, there is a nursery for ages 0-3 but Helen really did not like being in the nursery last year. Who can blame her? She's a smart cookie and really too old for the toys and things in the nursery. But the older kids were all potty trained and she wasn't so I couldn't convince them to move her up, even though she was smart enough to be in the big class. This year she's potty trained and very, very excited to do "school" with the big kids. And her teacher is great, really working on teaching the kids about Jesus...this is going to be a great experience for Helen.

Back to me. I'm excited too. This year we're doing Beth Moore's study on Esther. Today was just the introduction and I'm so pumped. Beth Moore is an amazing teacher...I always learn so much from her studies. In her intro to Esther she mentioned a Daniel study...boy, don't I want to do that next!?! Anyway, I'm glad things are getting back to normal after a summer break.

On Friday Patrick will be 6 months old! Shocking, half a year has just flown by! He is so big. I just know he's going to crawl any day now...he's really working at it. It's so fun to watch him figure things out. He's really a problem solver and a lot more patient while working something out than Helen was at that age. He's just so easy going. I hope he stays this way!

My diet is going well, I guess. I have developed a slight addiction to the scale. I jump on it all the time (stripping off all my clothes when I get on it). I really need to stop doing that...it's not healthy to obsess. As of last Friday (which is my official weigh in day, even though I actually weigh more often) I was -11 pounds. That's pretty good. I just wish Chris would notice and say something. He knows that I've been working hard. He knows what my goal is. He sees the effort I put in. I'm not doing this for him and I don't need his approval but it would be nice if he'd notice. Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter.


On a totally unrelated note: I really, really appreciated THIS POST from my bloggy friend Jessica. Like her, I really appreciate the heritage of faithfulness from my family. She talks about how her great-great-great-great grandmother prayed for her future grandchildren and how these people who she never met were so greatly influenced by her prayers and example. I hope someday my great-great-great-great grandchildren remember my faithfulness too.

A call to pray

Next weekend, September 25-27, is the 4th annual International Weekend of Prayer & Fasting for the Victims of Sex Trafficking. I thought the information on the Salvation Army website was really convicting, pointing out a great area of sin in our society...an area of sin that is too often ignored or even tolerated.

Here are some statistics that bring out the significance of the problem:

- Globally 27 million people are enslaved in the sex trade, more than at the height of the slave trade.
- According to UNICEF more than 1 million children enter the sex trade every year. EVERY YEAR!
- The US Department of State estimates that between 600,000 and 800,000 people - mostly women and children - are trafficked across national borders annually.
- There are an estimated 100,000 to 150,000 slaves in the US and fewer than 1,000 victims have been assisted by law enforcement since 2001.

This doesn't even touch the startling statistics from across the world. So many people enslaved, so many lives ruined. The Salvation Army is encouraging us to pray for:

1. The Rescue and Restoration of the many victims of sex trafficking.
2. The Breakdown of the sex industry
3. A Reduction of Demand for commercial sex (including a repeal of legalized prostitution in Nevada)
4. Development in impoverished nations that will help people escape the kind of desperation that makes them vulnerable to exploitation.
5. World leaders willing to confront the problem
6. The Church: missionaries to evangelize, aid workers to help victims in recovery, and, importantly, for the church to remain sexually pure so that we not become perpetrators or consumers of abuse!

"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?" - Isaiah 58:6

Goals and plans

I am learning how to set goals. Actually, I think I've always been a goal setter. What I'm learning to do now is set concrete goals. I'm learning that being concrete and specific about my goals makes them more real than the "oh, someday" type of goals that I'm used to setting. So, here are some examples:

I used to say, "I'd really like to lose some weight." Sounds kind of like a pie in the sky wish, doesn't it. No wonder it never really happened. Now I say, "I want to lose 50 lbs by the beginning of June next year." And I'm tracking things like exercise and eating habits in writing to help achieve that goal. What's the result? I started this on August 11 and I am already down 10 lbs...that's definitely ahead of goal schedule!

I used to say, "I should really clean the house today." Well, I should have but it is pretty easy to do something else or get to "busy" to accomplish something as vague and general as cleaning the house. Now I have a goal for each day. On Mondays I do the laundry and vacuum the living room and kitchen. Tuesdays are for cleaning the downstairs bathroom and the kids rooms. Wednesday I vacuum and dust the downstairs. Thursday and vacuum and dust the upstairs. Friday I clean the upstairs bathroom and vacuum downstairs again. The result? Well, my house is cleaner...I still don't always do what I set out to do but I'm not trying to do everything in one day anymore.

I used to say, "I'd really like to get out of debt." Then I'd go along my merry way spending money and hoping our debt would magically disappear, I guess. Now we have our financial goals laid out, what we want to do with our money and when we plan to pay our debt off. We also have a budget and I have learned to love budgeting. It is geeky fun, I know, but I love it. The result? We're living well below our means and steadily paying off debt. I feel way more positive about our financial situation now than I did even at the beginning of the year and nothing has changed other than paying more attention to our money.

So, what's the take away from all of this? Being specific is important. Not, "oh, I really like to go on a cruise" but "we'll go on a cruise for our 20th wedding anniversary in 2022 and we'll save this much per month to pay for it." It'll work, I promise.

$50 Safeway gift card giveaway

I don't usually do this but I think it would be pretty great to win one of these $50 gift cards. So, there's a giveaway at Frugal in Virginia...check it out! But hopefully I'll win.

On unexpected blessings

It hasn't quite been a year since we moved here but lately I've been thinking a lot about how things have changed for us since coming here. I'll be honest, I did not want to move. Things weren't perfect where we were but they were okay. My husband had a job that was secure for a company that had treated us pretty well. So, he didn't like the job all that well, what job is perfect? We were living just down the street from my sister and her family and that was fantastic. I was pregnant and pretty happy with my doctor, familiar with the hospital I'd deliver in and content with our housing situation.

Then Chris got a call from an old friend of his. The friend had offered Chris a job before but things weren't quite right then so he didn't take it. So, this second offer was a bit of a surprise. I think Chris was especially shocked that his friend would make a second attempt...because he had been super disappointed when Chris said no the first time.

This job offer came right at a time when Chris was feeling most unhappy with his job. So, he decided to accept the offer. Obviously, we talked about it and I was behind him all the way but, really, I wasn't that excited about.

Looking back, though, I can see that this was a great move for us. This is the community where Chris grew up and because of that we moved in to a church family that already loved and knew us. That has been a great blessing. They also love our kids and I can already see Helen blossoming as a result of this love.

We're also in a better place financially. Part of this is because we have decided to be better financially...we are using (and sticking to) a budget for the first time in our married life and we are steadily working on paying off debt and meeting other financial goals. But we're also in a better financial place because of the generosity of Chris's new boss. On paper Chris doesn't make a lot more than he did in his old position but there have been a lot of bonuses and other blessings as a result of this job.

The best part of this move is my husband. I have never seen him this happy. He loves his new job. He loves what he is doing and who he is working for. He plans to be here for the rest of our lives and is excited about that. It makes me happy that he is so happy. That, alone, would have been reason enough for me to move here.

Sometimes God takes me places kicking and screaming. For some reason, those things I have been most hesitant to do are the things that end up being the biggest blessing. Makes you think, doesn't it?